and i never though id say this, but i have.
i dont use my time wisely, but im getting better.
i am less selfish than i once was.
i need to work on getting my priorities straight.
i should work on a plan as to where im going in life.
i need to take better care of my relationship.
its 3:20. im sleepy.
I never told you but I bought us christmas stockings once, red and white ones, knit like one of my grandmother’s sweaters. I saw them and I knew you would love them just as much as I did. We’d hang them on the mantel in our house in the country. They were perfect. I hid them in the bottom of the wooden chest at my parent’s house, they were a suprise, a secret. One day I would pull them out and say “see, aren’t they wonderful? I thought of you even back then, I thought of us like this, stockings side by side in our house.” And we would laugh and smile and you would kiss me for loving you for such a long time. They’re still in the bottom of the chest, waiting for me to pull them out, to wrap them up in brown paper. I don’t have the heart to get rid of them. I can’t help but leave hope buried in the bottom drawer, waiting. See, see I loved you such a long time. Even when you didn’t love me, I always loved you.
